Vaccine Menu

Good Evening. Welcome to “Le Vaxcinashion”. Please be seated, roll up your sleeve and make yourself comfortable.

Here is our Menu for tonight:

  1. Sinovac (for the inner exotic “rock star” in you and the safest way to explore the junkie life – like shooting up greasy deep-fried junk food behind a dirty dumpster);
  2. Sinopharm (the adult “soft-rock” (Phil Collins) version of Sinovac);
  3. Pfizer (former prom queen and now supermodel with the most Facebook friends – the vaccine that everyone wants although mostly available only in “first world” countries);
  4. Moderna (for the aspiring corporate executive class – just one shot squeezed between your conference call and 15 minute power nap);
  5. Astra Zeneca (like entering a spaceship on LSD with the rare chance of getting a blood clot and escaping this stupid world);
  6. Johnson & Johnson (sounds Anglo and reassuring….but…don’t they make baby powder and shampoo?)
  7. Wholly organic NATURAL tulsi/moringa supplemental mix made by Lola from your local organic Vinyasa yoga class – blessed with good vibes and love!!

Published by Theloonius

A REAL American lover of Freedom!

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