We Love OUR Military!

We love the USA Military. That’s why we line the streets and paint ourselves in the patriotic colors of the flag several times a year – from Memorial Day, to Veterans Day to the 4th of July. We adorn ourselves with colors and slogans and proudly repeat the slogans and sing the traditional songs.

We respect our military service members so much that we send them abroad into foreign lands to act out in real life the desk-dreamed fantasies of conservative-Christian think tanks (like the Heritage Foundation)…..so that we can live FREE in America!

We send them into foreign adventures in Iraq and Afghanistan (Vietnam) and vote for the patriotic politicians who respect our military (unlike the evil America-hating democrats). When they die there we honor them with beautiful flags on the coffins and gift them with nice speeches about how they died fighting to defend our constitutional freedoms in the United States – although we can’t explain what that means.

We empower politicians who boldly and fearlessly put our sons and daughters into these dangerous situations so that military contractors and their shareholders can profit – because capitalism is patriotic. We need to protect “American interests” ….the interests to expand American-owned business and the business of military contractors into the foreign frontier at the expense of cheap young lives. We are Christian.

We preach about sending them to fight in wars abroad so that we can live free here – in a country isolated by great oceans from these conflicts. We know what we are talking about because we look patriotic and do the patriotic stuff. We showcase our love for our unique country by flagsturbating on national holidays. We are the partiotic REAL Americans!!!

Published by Theloonius

A REAL American lover of Freedom!

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